Too often, we view political causes like a lightswitch: we all believe one thing, we make some noise to flip the switch, and then we all believe another thing. *Flip the switch*… problem solved. This process usually involves drawing a line between the light and the dark, constantly reminding ourselves that we are ‘in the light’, and demonizing and punishing those ‘in the dark’. It’s an easy model for practicing politics, because it requires very little work: just declare yourself clean and start feeling good about yourself.

This way of looking at politics — as a series of switches to flip; a series of lines of which to be on the right side; a series of the right words to say to remain clean — is tremendously ineffective at achieving structural change. Causes like rolling back global warming, reforming the criminal justice system, or getting money out of politics are not going to happen like the flip of a switch. Rather, it’s going to be much more like a gardening project: how are we doing at planting the seeds (changing people’s minds)?; how are we doing at tilling the soil (creating the right environment for change)?; how are we doing at watering the plants (creating the routines and putting in the work that allow change to grow)?; how are we doing at getting the legal right to till the land (legal/structural changes)?; how are we doing at getting the money to buy the materials (funding)?; and how are we doing at inspiring more gardeners (recruiting)? The process looks less like “[No Garden] vs. [Full Garden]” and more like a gradual process of fits and starts and sprouts and weeds and duds and blooms… that hopefully — a long while later — makes this plot of land we call home much more beautiful than it was before. (Notice how declaring yourself “Pro-Garden” and belittling some neighbors as “Anti-Garden” is, at best, a tiny part of the project and, at worst, dangerous to the project.)

I used to think that Lightswitch Politics was good for cultural causes whereas Gardening Politics was good for more structural change. But, the more I learn about the history of successful cultural causes, the more I think that they resemble Gardening Politics, too.Last week, I found the story of a beautiful gardener in the LGBT movement who has a lot to teach our movements of today. In April 1972, Jeanne Manford — a mom and elementary school teacher from Flushing, Queens — was sitting at home when she learned that her son Morty, a gay activist, had been beaten for distributing pro-gay flyers. At a time when being gay was considered a mental illness and designated a crime, Manford wrote a letter to the New York Post saying “I have a homosexual son and I love him.” She marched in the 1972 New York City Gay Pride Parade with a sign saying “Parents of Gays Unite in Support for Our Children.”

The sign went viral and gay Americans started writing to Manford asking for help in how to explain their identities to their parents. It was at this point that Manford could have said, “Wow, your parents are real bigots” and slept soundly knowing she was on the right side of the lightswitch dividing line. But that’s not what she did: rather, she grabbed a shovel and started gardening. She founded PFLAG – Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays – an organization which she hoped could be a “bridge between the gay community and the heterosexual community.” They started holding meetings with parents to help spread understanding, provide support for families with LGBT children, and advocate to change attitudes and create inclusive policies. When “Dear Abby” mentioned PFLAG in one of her advice columns in 1980, they went viral. By 1982, they had 20 chapters. In 1990, a letter from PFLAG to Barbara Bush asking for her support resulted in the first gay-positive comments to come out of the White House. Today, they are currently organized in 350 communities, continuing to spread understanding and build community with an open heart for people at all parts of the process of seeing the light of inclusion, freedom and love with regard to this tender issue.

Because of her work and the work of other gardeners, we live in a nation where even the man who beat up Morty Manford is now an LGBT advocate.

Today, as we grapple with the divisive issues that threaten to make our nation evermore the Divided States of America, I hope we can take a page out of this brave mom’s book, understanding that change resembles growing, building, constructing, glueing, imagining, and loving much more than it does cleansing, condemning and prosecuting. We shouldn’t waste our lines on grand division… because we need to save them for our modest, hopeful blueprints.